Why the X-Files Still Matters.

Today, I am nearly thirty-three years old. The case has been since I decided to attend graduate school while working, I can barely remember what I had for dinner two nights ago. I remember however, where I was on the evening of September 10th, 1993. That evening, I was at home watching the premier of The X-Files. All other surrounding images of that day have but dissipated in my memory, but the episode is forever ingrained in my mind because only one other television show has inspired me as that show has. The only other show that could compare for its influence was Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

When The X-Files premiered twenty-six years ago, I knew little about the outside world. I was seven years old and had just started second grade. Disney cartoons entertained me, but it was during that time in my life I had just learned the word “alien” and not regarding immigrants. Abductions, light speed interstellar-travel and UFO’s—those aliens. Why would a seven-year-old girl care or even know about that subject? Curiosity. Curiosity about the world and it’s inhabitants. Or inhabitants of other worlds.

One of my morning rituals in this stage of life was to watch Sightings each morning before school. Sightings was an eerie show similar to Unsolved Mysteries that primarily focused on the alleged alien abduction phenomenon.

Beings hailing from distant galaxies with the ability to travel at light speed with intent to abduct human beings of all ages against their will. Unchecked, and without adhering to any laws registered on planet earth. For most children, the very idea that a space monster could kidnap you—should terrify them. Not me—I wanted to know how and why.

Deep down, there was some fear and paranoia about the possibility of being abducted by aliens. My strange interests were piqued however and overrode the fear.

Children tend to be inquisitive about life, but I knew what I was most interested in defined a part of myself that I would take years to accept—that I was weird. Not Jeffrey Dahmer weird. Slightly unique, and that was fine.

I spent most of my free time at the library. Anything at all the library had that could answer the question: are we alone in the universe? I checked out. Not too long after this question began plaguing me The X-Files landed in my living room.

A large X against a gray background. The following words against a black screen: “The following story is inspired by actual documented accounts.” The pilot episode was a fictionalized re-enactment of factually documented events regarding multiple alien abductees. It would be years, before I discovered through research how eerily accurate the fiction was. At the time of the premiere though, the pilot episode filled me with feelings of intrigue. By the time the end credits rolled, I was hooked if not obsessed.

From the beginning, the storytelling was engaging, gritty and subversive. The topics were horrifying yet realistic, for the world these horrors were presented in, was the same world I lived in. It wasn’t a child’s overactive imagination. 

The two leading characters of The X-Files were two FBI Agents—the ying to each other’s yang, male and female, logical and holistic to engage in official investigations into the paranormal. These characters Mulder and Scully, were unrelenting in their pursuit despite the adversity they faced from their associates, their country and their government. 

The female character, Dana Scully was a conservative woman who leapt into the male dominated FBI. Equally courageous, she accepted an assignment that would not gain her any promotion or notoriety. She didn’t cower in darkness when thrust into situations she was never trained for—she slapped on her gloves and used her intellect to rationalize and find her truth. As a child, witnessing the evolution of her character taught me that I shouldn’t ask to be seen as an equal, but to show up and never let anyone think I believe I’m not. Scully taught me, especially as a young girl, that it’s perfectly acceptable as a female to be interested in anything or everything and to be the voice of reason. I did get not have to justify my presence to anyone.

The male character, Fox Mulder witnessed his younger sister being abducted by aliens as a child and never completely recovered from the trauma of this event. To lend to the sting—he had to live with this trauma while tolerating most people’s disbelief in what occurred. Eventually, he garnered the energy from this trauma to join the FBI, to pursuit the paranormal and discover what happened to his sister. I witnessed how one traumatic event in a persons life could alter his or her reality forever.

Mulder showed me that even when horrible events took place, they did not have to destroy who you were and that it was ok to be spooky.

In the season 3 episode, "2Shy", a cannibal freak of nature uses Italian poetry to seduce overweight women then murders them by stripping them of their body fat with his unnatural ability to secrete a strong hydrochloric acid. Mulder and Scully are called in to assist the local police to investigate. While performing the autopsy on a victim, the lead detective questioned Scully's ability to perform the autopsy not due to insufficient medical training but because she was a woman.The verbal exchange only made clear that the male detective was hiding behind his words of: "Doesn't it make you uncomfortable as a woman? Clearly, this guy has a certain attitude against women!" Scully was no less capable of performing the autopsy than a male medical examiner. What the detective's concern really boiled down to was his discomfort with a woman in a position of power providing a high-profile expertise. Scully challenged the detective while maintaining poise and professionalism. That scene always stayed with me throughout my career.

If anything, Scully’s interaction with the male detective reminded me that I could still be viewed as unqualified, regardless of expertise due to my gender. That scene was also a reminder that it was within my power to decide how to respond.

With the unique set of obstacles Mulder and Scully faced however, you couldn’t help but wonder, “Why are humans on Earth and where did we truly come from? Is our own existence only substantiated by the superstitions rooted in religion?” I had questions that adults always had filtered responses for—if they bothered responding at all.

The X-Files was a war-cry to a child being spoon-fed lies, or at least versions of the truth. White lies from my educators, parents and peers.

Each week, The X-Files soothed my ruffled feathers. Despite being fiction, it made some attempt to answer questions that adults wouldn't. Aliens, ghosts, monsters and inhuman humans with story lines as varied as the ideas that ran through my head. Whether it ended on a conclusive or inconclusive note, each episode provided some type of resonance. A fleeting feeling that alleviated my increasing anxiety. Over time, I viewed the show through a different lens. The intrigue was still there, but more so what I felt was appreciation.

The strength of these two characters was distinctly different, but as a child growing up in an abusive home and now as a recovering adult I never realized how much I relied on their strength—fictional characters or not, to survive.

When I was older, research showed me that there was more than a sufficient amount of evidence of existence of the same horrors presented in the program (give or take a few monsters) and despite modern science’s inability to invalidate these same horrors; those who could not explain away chose to believe they were impossible. This is when I began to question everything I had been spoon fed growing up; in regard to both science and religion. Most of all, I questioned truth.

When the show ended in its ninth season (rebooted for two seasons years later), I was a junior in high school. From second to eleventh grade I had followed this show with undying loyalty—it had raised me more than my parents. Regardless of how the series evolved in plot or tone—the feelings it created never left. Those “feelings” were a fascination, inquisitiveness and wonder about how I fit in to this eternally expanding universe. It doesn’t matter how much time has passed, The X-Files will always provide subtle hints of nostalgia, but more importantly it will forever remind to quote that “The Truth is Out There”.